Toughest moments & reflections

• Did you experience any tough incidents or moments where you felt unsafe?

  Not really! I think my worst experiences was when the weather was really bad, I didn’t suffer from any bad injuries or something like that. I also didn’t feel unsafe at any point. Sometimes I felt uncomfortable because I don’t like camping close to towns or even houses, but I feel like that is just irrational of me. I think my absolute worst day was probably my first time pushing almost 50 km - between Ankarede and Gäddede. I had made up my mind to go all the way in one day despite the weather being really shitty (looots of rain). At the end of the day, when we were getting closer to Gäddede, I couldn’t keep up the tempo, so I couldn’t stay warm by walking faster which is normally my tactic if it’s a bit colder. So I was really cold and constantly shivering the last few hours. But I made it to Gäddede! If I didn’t think I would have, we had a backup plan to pitch our tent along the way there, but none of us really wanted to, so I had to push myself really hard. But I made it!

• What unexpected challenges did you experience?

  Not as many as I thought initially! And not as severe. Most of my worries were unnecessary. The unexpected challenges were challenges mostly because of my inexperience, but nothing I couldn’t handle. One thing for instance was having my period for two weeks straight, (it has never been acting weird like this before, so I was also extremely worried all the time) bleeding so much that I’d have to empty my menstrual cup every 30-60 minutes and getting up in the middle of the night trying to prevent a blood bath. This was worst North of Abisko because I was quickly running out of pads, and there are nowhere to get new ones, and I also used up a lot of toilet paper. So the last day to Abisko was pretty miserable, being almost out of toilet paper, out of underwear, out of pads and I was just bleeding through everything trying to reach Abisko as quickly as possible… Life of being a woman, yah know!

• What were your toughest moments?

  See the two answers above! In addition to this I want to add being alone for the first time, without Lukas or anyone else was really tough. I knew I could make it, but in the moment I just missed Lukas so much it hurt, and every time I thought about it I just started crying.

• If you would have done it again - what would you have changed/thought/done differently and what would you not have changed?

  Hard one. I would have changed some of my gear so I didn’t have to carry unnecessary stuff from the beginning. I also wouldn’t have sent food in boxes, especially not to stores! I would only have sent things that couldn’t be found in stores (but this is pretty much impossible to know unless you’ve been there) and I wouldn’t have sent so many. That’s probably the only things I would have changed I think?

• Would you do it again?

  No. Now - hear me out. It’s not that I didn’t think it was a great experience. I think everyone who wants to do this should do it! It’s just that now I have done it, so I don’t have to do it again. And therefore I won’t. Life’s too short to do things twice in my opinion! There are so many other things out there that I want to do.

• What was the biggest challenge and could you have made it easier?

  I think I answered this in the first three questions. I don’t know if I could have made them easier. The period one is hard because how could I have known I would have my period for two weeks? If I had known I would have brought more pads and I would have used my pee rag more to save toilet paper. But the other ones? I don’t know, you can’t decide which weather to have, and even if I was very cold when walking to Gäddede, it was still worth it to get there and have a rest day and all of that. Perhaps I could have brought a poncho or something, that might have helped because my rain jacket couldn’t keep that much water out.

• What are your motivation?

  I don’t know. Honestly. Every day that sucked I just pushed through, thought about things to look forward to, and enjoyed them when I finally arrived there. It was never an option to quit. This is such a cool thing to have done, and not a lot of people have done it. For me it was easy because I just thought a few days ahead at a time and suddenly I was just there in Smygehuk!? Time is weird like that. The tough days would always pass, you could always push yourself to go just one more day.

• What keeps you going when it gets more tiring than usual?

  See above. Also, I could always camp earlier if I wanted to, but I was almost always too determined to reach the goal I had set for myself in my mind so I pushed on.

• Did you feel lonely along the way?

  Yeeesss! I’ve come to realise I’m not one who enjoys hiking alone. Company is always better for me. But that is very individual! A few hours or a day here or there of hiking alone wouldn’t have been a problem, but like this… Nah, I prefer company, but it worked, right!? Unless you don’t try, how are you supposed to know?

• Did you feel scared?

  A few times, but most of them were irrational or silly. Fording my first proper river I was suuuuper scared, but there was no need for me to be, because it wasn’t dangerous. But I made it, I was hyperventilating in panic my first time, but I did it! I’m glad Lukas and our friend Micke were so patient with me and supporting even though I was annoying. Hiking off-road North of Torneträsk was also a bit scary sometimes, especially a part that was very steep and very rocky. But being careful and taking it slow helped. Then I was scared in the Southern part of Sweden for two reasons, both being super silly. One was spiders. I have arachnophobia, alright? Meaning I have a fear of spiders. I thought exposing myself to them, sleeping in shelters etc would help me with my fear. Let me tell you, it did not. After a few nights of pushing myself to sleep in shelters I couldn’t do it anymore, so I slept in my tent again after that. I feel like being exposed to more spiders actually made my fear worse. And it felt like I saw them anywhere! I don’t know if I was in an area with a lot of spiders or something but I kid you not, they were more. Later, I had company (Peter Bergström) and we slept in several shelters, and then it wasn’t a problem and I also saw less of them. Either they were fewer or I just didn’t pay as much attention to them when I wasn’t alone. I don’t know. My second fear was the darkness. I have never thought about myself as being afraid of the dark, but at the end of my hike I hiked every evening in darkness for a few hours. I was constantly being afraid of something I thought I had seen, something I had heard, something moving (often a tree), eyes in the darkness (sheep in a pasture) etc. I knew I had nothing to fear, and that it was just my cave man-brain trying to save me from scary monsters in the dark I couldn’t see. But it was seriously not helpful.

• Was there any moment along the way when you felt like you really didn’t want to be there, right then - and if so, why? And how did you get rid off the feelings and how did you get away from it? How did you solve it?

  Yes, for sure. I mentioned situations like that above. My answer might be boring, but my solution was to just suck it up and keep going. It was helpful for me to know that what felt tough right now was just temporary. Mostly it was due to weather, and the weather can always change (for better and for worse) but either way there is nothing you can do about it. Also, for me it helped to just push on because it meant that I got closer to my goal. Every step along the way was a step closer to whatever was my next goal, but also the end goal - Smygehuk. This is the thought that I was constantly repeating in my mind when it was tough.